Should I go back to IT??

These notes were made in two parts… one on April 4th and another just now, I’m on April 8th. And it starts like this:

Yesterday, April 3rd, I thought about going back and trying to get a job in IT again, and I spent the whole afternoon watching videos related to programming.

(I’m writing this section now, it’s being vomited directly from my head right now as I transcribe my post for the blog) It’s cool, and it really made me think, but it made me feel more like I was too stupid. Besides, there are already much better solutions for all kinds of problems (at least I imagine that).

And here’s a section I wrote down earlier today (the 8th):

I still don’t know what I’m going to do with my life… I’m still afraid… afraid of not being enough, just like I wasn’t. Besides, it took me too long to get into the field, and what if it takes me too long to get back into it?

I don’t know if I should try to work at anything because I probably won’t like it… I might not like the pay… (in both cases, if I get back into the field or try something different) I might end up like I did in my last job… that one wasn’t easy… I felt so useless.

(a little more thought-vomiting in my head as I post)

I thought so much about going back to the IT field that I even wrote this blog… It’s not good, but it’s not bad either… I can keep it up… But I think it’s a little early to consider going back.

Anyway, here I end these notes, thanks…